on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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