i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize