she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
