I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They took my balls.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
