I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
