their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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