Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can I color on your dick again?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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