oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You need a sexual gate keeper
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
