every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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