This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
