Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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