My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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