He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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