Porn is love you can see.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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