oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Alive.
So much puke
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
