i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
