sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
