I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
