I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Less talking, more tequila
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
