i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
