He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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