great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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