Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
