I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
