U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
