she was so not down for the gang bang
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
