i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
