put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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