Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
