at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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