Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
FUCK WHALES
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