I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
