How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
