Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't like sucking hair
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Randomize
