I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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