How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
