I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
