Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
