i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
