Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize