I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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