So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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