FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
foreskin is a definite game changer
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
