i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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