I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize