singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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