Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
