Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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