Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
