We're facebook friends in real life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I need moral support for this bender
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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