My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
