if i can run in heels then i can drive
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
