yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
