I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My ass is underappreciated
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
