Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
