what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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