I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
