Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
