hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
