She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
