I'm jealous of your bromance
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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