now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
