but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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