my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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