Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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