One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
