You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
