You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
